This Marketwatch headline just caught my attention.
Game over for Chinese Internet game operators?
I have no opinion as to the veracity of that statement, but it got me thinking: why do these silly little journalists even bother hiding the fact that they don’t actually do any sort of journalistic research? Instead they just take the subject matter for an article, figure out a pun title and and have a team of monkeys* fill the rest.
Do newspaper firms even do old-school style journalism anymore? Why not shift the paradigm overtly and stop paying lip service to research? Just report the world based on low hanging puns. Think of the brave new world we could create! Everything reported would be thin slice reactions based not on events but the visceral vocabularic responses which they inspire.
You wake up, put on your mumu and go straight to marketwatch.com to see the latest news:
RIMM results are Berry Good
Revlon Attempts to put a Good Face on Results
Caterpillar Demolishes Estimates
P&G Numbers Need a Swiffer Picker-Upper
SC Johnson Results Go Down the Drano
Analysts Examine ConAgra 3Q05 Net Income and Wonder: Where’s the Beef?
Ipod Competition Seeks to Take a Bite Out of Apple
Investors are Stone Cold as WWE Wrestles With Declining Ratings
Rob Glaser Rhapsodizes on Real’s Future
Lack of Toy Sales Spell ‘Dr Doom’ for Marvel
When I buy a newspaper company, or, more likely am handed one for free as I walk up from the subway, it’s going to be amazing. Investors will thank me, ladies will love me. Truth is much harder to produce and less marketable than superficial entertainment.
Recommendation: A savvy private equity firm should pick-up some newspapers on the cheap and apply the Game Over Paradigm; it would be Game Over for the competition.
Mr Juggles advised on this article