The Khaki Letter
by Johnny Debacle
Olden times knew how to mark someone who literally fucked up. A big scarlet letter to shame them permanently. Olden times understood that it was appropriate to properly prioritize penalization over rehabilitation. They got that. Now, when people mess up in most walks of life, you basically have to apologize to them for it.
“I’m so sorry you went to Cornell and that you couldn’t get into Harvard, where I went. When I was at Harvard, I felt so guilty knowing that I had gotten into Harvard and all these other nice people hadn’t gotten into Harvard and were forced to attend lesser schools like Cornell or Dartmouth or Brown, schools that weren’t Havard, where I went for undergrad and then later for my MBA. God, that is so horrible, I hope you are able to find someone willing to hire you.”
But it doesn’t have to be like this. It’s time to roll out The Khaki Letter. The Khaki Letter is a mark of shame that should be applied to anyone who fucks up in finance, or other industries that can make a claim to being appropriate.
Embarass yourself professionally by sending out an email about how Chung is King that gets you fired? Khaki Letter
Shoddy analysis that gets your clients screwed? Khaki Letter
Pop one too many collars? Khaki Letter
Work for Moody’s? A Veritable Yacht Club of Khaki Letters
Recommendation: Long Shame.
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But still short guilt.
Your graphics department is ahead of the curve, that is a work of sheer beauty
I had no idea that shame exists on Wall Street.
Guilt exists when and if proven by an AG or DA. Even some AG’s have been shown as being (at minimum) guilty of paying full retail for sex.
1) please consult a dictionary for proper use of the term “literally”. It is not synonymous with “very” or “really”.
2) i don’t understand the harvard thing. is that supposed to be funny? is the person who writes that a khaki letter candidate, or is it indicative of the spirit in which such letters are to be given? it seemingly works on many levels and yet none at all.
3) how on earth did you trick traderdaily to link to this? L&S is fine sometimes but this is pretty thin gruel. Slow newsday?
I think by slow news day you mean 10 days until CFA exams?
“1) please consult a dictionary for proper use of the term “literally”. It is not synonymous with “very” or “really”.”
Actually, guess what, this thing called language, it’s based on usage not on a dictionary. But guess what, I’ll humor (HAHAHA HUMOR) and why don’t you guess (I went there dude, you didn’t think I would but I whipped out a three guess sentence on you) what the dictionary says. (Please don’t literally guess (See what I did there? I foreshadowed my righteousness. In italics)).
“1. in the literal or strict sense: What does the word mean literally?
2. in a literal manner; word for word: to translate literally.
3. actually; without exaggeration or inaccuracy: The city was literally destroyed.
4. in effect; in substance; very nearly; virtually.”
You’re burnt.
“2) i don’t understand the harvard thing. is that supposed to be funny? is the person who writes that a khaki letter candidate, or is it indicative of the spirit in which such letters are to be given? it seemingly works on many levels and yet none at all.”
That’s what she said.
“3) how on earth did you trick traderdaily to link to this? L&S is fine sometimes but this is pretty thin gruel. Slow newsday?”
There was no trick, they link whatever they like to link, we have no discretionary control over what anyone links to on our site.
I will respond to your list with a tedious list of my very own.
1) Before imploring someone to please consult a dictionary, it’s especially incumbent upon you to check a dictionary to ensure that the complaint you levied isn’t entirely tedious and inaccurate. Following this advice in this case would gave prevented you from revealing yourself to be both tedious and inaccurate.
2) You should never ask for a joke to be explained because if you have to do that then everyone has already failed, and unlike at Havard, in the real world that is actually possible. I know this because I went there. To Harvard. For my undergraduate degree. And while at Havard, I didn’t fail.
3) L&S is fine all the time, that is our intraoffice motto. “Boys, today let’s do it up fine, just like how we did it up yesterday, and how we did it up the day before that, and the day before that and so on. Fine all the time!”
i like this list thing, to continue:
1. @what?: pwned
2. jd, this [thankfully] isnt mad money. in the ‘real world’ h-bombs are gauche
3. instead of ‘fine all the time’ can it be ‘party all the time’ as in the immortal eddie murphy/RJ diddy?
I think “literally fucked up” works nicely. After all, you only got the big A if you fucked and were a fuck up who got caught.
After extensive research (i.e. Reading numbers 1-8) here are my recommendations:
1. Short snappy posters who comb blogs (h/t Spaceballs) to point out “errors” in error – Sykesism is soooo 2004…
2. Long posters that help me update my internet slang (a la “pwned”)
3. Long parties @ HAM’05’s pad (music’s gotta be so rad)
JD,
I would like to offer an attempt at a helpful suggestion. Just reply “Short ‘what?'”.
This is like explaining strategies to the guy that brings your statement in the morning, kind but unnecessary.
Oh, snap Harvard? Debacle, really damn it, i’ve been owned again…. One day I will go to Harvard (PhD?)…. and then the world will never hear the end of it… until that time, viva Cornell! All IV-League school are pretty much the same thing anyway right?