A Tale of Two Barneys

by Johnny Debacle

Compare and contrast these two pieces of analysis:

The Customer Service Elite (scroll to #19)

“Smith Barney, Why do you hate your customers?” A Play by JD

Notice how one has fancy pants charts, fabricated statistics and a penchant for speaking untruths, while the other tells of the plights of the common man, in play form no less.

Recommendation: We’d short Businessweek but as far as we can tell there aren’t any shares left to borrow.

HT to Anal_yst

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  1. Anal_yst
    March 4th, 2008 | 1:01 am

    for real almost shart mine pants when I saw that bizweek piece, honestly, are they stoned when they put that list together (and if the answer is “yes” does anyone know how to get a job there?)

  2. Peter
    March 4th, 2008 | 1:12 pm

    Then I wanna work at Barney’s – My application:
    I am sadistic, I don’t care about the needs of others and I don’t have a clue what the difference between a normal and a prefered stock is!!!
    I am waiting for your reply HR!!

  3. Size
    March 4th, 2008 | 4:37 pm


    I used to work at Barney’s. Let me assure you, you will fit right in. The last time I checked, they were still searching for the ticker symbol for GDP.

  4. Lumpen
    March 4th, 2008 | 4:40 pm

    Unequivocal sign that inflation is no longer contained. An average consumer being unable to afford a tank of gas – mildly concerning. An average octopus being unable to afford their 8 legs – crisis!


  5. MGW
    March 5th, 2008 | 1:42 am

    I think this latest news article submitted by Lumpen may require you to reevaluate the impact of the subprime crisis/inflation/recession on your cephalopod thesis. It appears that the “cephalopod world domination” asset class has fallen victim to this triple threat of macro-economic woes. After all, an octopus with 8 legs may bring world domination, but an octopus with only 6 legs has much more in common with the insects that I crush under my foot on a daily basis.

    In light of this evidence, but not wanting to lose valuable cephalopod investment banking fees, I have to initiate coverage of the cephalopod space with a “hold” rating.