Biopiracy Downgraded to “Not At All Pirate Like”

by Johnny Debacle

The recent Captain Hook Awards for Biopiracy do not play into the piratery investing series, because they are not truly piracy. If so-called “Bio-Pirates” were using frigates, sloops and galleons to plunder the likes of Genetech (DNA) off the Barbary coast, then aye, we could approve on the basis of demonstrated piratery.

But a mere interest in applying manipulated genes to grow 400lb watermelons and create a personal synchronized swimming team comprised solely of cloned Scarlett Johannson’s does not a pirate make. Despite that, the status of Monsanto, the genetically modified crops company, as a previous winner of the Captain Hook Award is a definitely a buy sign for MON per our Satan’s Portfolio thesis.

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