Chartered F***in’ Analyst

by Johnny Debacle

As an aid to prospective Chartered Financial Analysts who seek to take the CFA Exam for Level I, Level II or Level III this December or next May or next Never-ever, Long or Short has designed a series of review questions to further your edification and help you get an A++ on a pass/fail exam.

Ethics Example Scenario:

Alfonso Gonchar is a trust investment officer at a bank in a Richpersonsburg. He enjoys lunching every day with friends at Richpersonsburg’s The Country Club, where his clients have observed him having numerous drinks. Back at work after lunch, he is clearly intoxicated while making investment decisions. His colleagues make a point of handling any business with Alfonso in the morning because they distrust his judgement after lunch.


Past exams would have stressed how Alfonso is violating ethical standards by acting unprofessionally, raising questions about his competence and misrepresenting his firm and his entire profession in front of clients. This is incorrect.

This is actually a scenario designed to demonstrate the importance of teamwork as set out in Standard VII (c(a)) Appendix Y. The last line gives this away by showing the floor of what colleagues should do to help a coworker out, e.g. scheduling the work day around their colleague’s expected level of net intoxication (ELNI). The formula for this is:

(# of beers divided by body weight) divided by duration of drinking in hours

This formula should be memorized and used according to this schedule of recommended actions:

  • An ELNI of 0.15-0.30 suggests a recommended course of business as usual and covering the fact that Alfonso is wearing sunglasses in the office by saying he has “glaucoma.”
  • An ELNI of 0.30-0.40 would be a situation where 1) it is appropriate to schedule around the Alfonso’s level of intoxication and/or 2) to begin doing firmwide shots of Jaegermeister so that Alfonso’s ELNI stands out less. Remember the core CFA tenant — “We work as one, thus we must drink as one.”
  • An ELNI of 0.40+ requires everyone to 1) drink heavily and more importanly, immediately and to 2) clear the schedule and go out and play mini-baller roulette.

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  1. Ian
    September 5th, 2006 | 6:28 pm

    Fuck the CFA Institute. Bunch of pedantic wankers. Not that I found out I failed level II or anything…

  2. RD
    September 6th, 2006 | 9:19 am

    Wait, I thought CFA stood for Constant Fucking Agony.

  3. Mr Juggles
    September 6th, 2006 | 10:08 am

    Cover fYour Ass.

    Silenet F.