How Do You Say “Sucker” in Hindi?

by Johnny Debacle

Is there money dumber than suburban housewives seeking to invest in overseas films?

For years, Renuka Pullat led the life of a wealthy mother in a suburb of San Francisco. She shuttled her two sons to tennis and soccer games, and volunteered for the American India Foundation.

Now, at 38 years old, she has an unusual new occupation: She is one of a wave of Indians in America pouring money into Bollywood movies here in India’s film capital….Her first movie, inspired by “A Fish Called Wanda,” made it to theaters in 2005. It barely broke even.

….

[“Aryan: Unbreakable”], the movie inspired by “Rocky”…[is being produced by] Poonam Khubani, whose husband is the New Jersey infomercial mogul[.] In the movie, banners advertising the TeleBrands Ab King exercise device are draped around the ring where fight scenes take place.

Ms. Khubani also sings one of the songs on the soundtrack, titled “Ek Look, Ek Look” (“One Look, One Look”).

…

Aryan didn’t break box-office records. A December review on the Web site for the Times of India, one of India’s biggest newspapers, said the movie “almost puts you to sleep with its insipid goulash.”

In late December in Mumbai, at one 5:20 p.m. screening of “Aryan” in a downtown theater a week after it opened, only a few people were in the audience, many talking on their cellphones. Then, during the intermission…they …left the building, skipping the rest of the movie.

“We’re lucky it lasted three weeks” in theaters, said Hitesh Israni, Ms. Khubani’s brother, who lives in India and helped coordinate the project.

Recommendation: Flee the dumb money put up by suckers. We recommend any investor scale back their investments in Bollywood film productions.

Full Disclosure: We ceased all our Indian film financing 18 months ago based on our proprietary Bollywood rhythm-method trading algorithm.

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POSTED: 02/22/07 9:04 AM
Comment (8)


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Comments

  1. bfellows
    February 22nd, 2007 | 9:42 am

    maybe she was inspired by “Poseidon?” That did well…

  2. PBateman
    February 22nd, 2007 | 11:34 am

    Would the esteemed investors at LoS recommend an outright short of Bollywood investments, or should one continue to hold based on non-insider information?

  3. Kaiser Edamame
    February 22nd, 2007 | 12:14 pm

    oh the rhythm-method trading algorithim. it’s saved me from so many mistakes.

  4. Mr Juggles
    February 22nd, 2007 | 12:28 pm

    If you are gonna hold, we recommend doing it based on insider information, rather than based on non-insider information. Much more powerful.

  5. Law talking guy
    February 22nd, 2007 | 4:07 pm

    Should I be looking to unload my 09 Squid LEAPs?

  6. Mr Juggles
    February 23rd, 2007 | 11:01 am

    We remain ‘squiddish’ on cephalopods.

  7. Texas Hedger
    February 23rd, 2007 | 12:14 pm

    Looks like Ms. Pullat was just trying to diversify out of her excessive long position in plastic surgery.

    P.S. Material information in the cephalopod market.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/fish/story/0,,2019536,00.html

  8. Johnny Debacle
    February 23rd, 2007 | 1:09 pm

    Great link thanks. This is what kills me with a lot these onlinew newspapers — how do you run an article like that with THAT picture. The article demands a couple full body shit of the colossal squid, yet they show a picture of a weird angle in a tiny thumbnailish size which is mostly some New Zealand jackass standing in front of his trophy. The human is the least relevant part of this squid story so don’t show him at all.