Long Magical Ants

by Mr Juggles

Situation: A Chinese man has been arrested and sentenced to death for bilking Chinese investors out of the 3bn yuan ($387mm) they invested in his sham company. He promised 60% returns on purchases of black ants that purportedly had therapeutic properties. He has (compellingly) defended himself by claiming that “he did not know the first thing about raising ants and was ‘quite unclear’ about the costs.”

Recommendation: Wang Zhendong’s fraudulent sales have roiled the market for magical ants worldwide and in China particularly. We recommend going long ants during this period of confusion. Buying ants that are “a natural remedy for ailments such as arthritis,” given the discounts available right now, is not dissimilar from buying Dynergy pipelines a month after the Enron scandal. Correlation trades in cathartic cephalopods and restorative rodents.

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