Market Clearing Attractiveness

by Johnny Debacle

This exchange at Dealbreaker between “girl” and “1-2” got me thinking. By way of background, “girl” and “1-2” had a flirty back and forth with “1-2” putting drinks on the table and girl unexpectedly accepting…and then both reiterating they were serious.

I assume he will show, in the end, no matter what, as he is a guy. But will she show? And what can we deduce about her attractiveness based on whether or not she shows up?

If she doesn’t show up: there is a 32% chance she is really a dude, a 32% chance she is not attractive and doesn’t want to put herself out there, a 25% chance she is average, a 10% chance she is a complicated computer algorithm designed by Russian hackers to add spicy comments to web sites, and a 1% chance she is a smokeshow.

If she does show up: she has enough confidence that her floor would be a 4.5. I’d say there is a 61% chance she is a 6 (pro forma for women in finance, that’s a 9), 8% chance she is below that, 24% chance she is legit hot, and 7% she is a complicated computer algorithm with holographic actualization technology designed by Russian hackers. She isn’t likely to be too hot, because hot women don’t have to meet anyone on the internet when they can meet them…..anywhere.

Distilled to the bottom line
No show: 4 with faux spunk
Show: 6 with genuine spunk

Armed with this, should “1-2” continue his pursuit of drinks? And based on what “1-2” decides, what should “girl” infer about “1-2″…should she continue her pursuit of drinks?

Screw Game Theory. Literally, screw it.

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  1. rskarb
    January 11th, 2008 | 6:09 pm

    keep drinking til shes 7+

  2. January 11th, 2008 | 6:27 pm

    Apparently she also does enough running to get “a mean case of the shin splints- the trainer says i should soften my stride. impossible as i’m pretty incapable of doing anything soft.”

    From reading the chat I would infer that “girl” is an over-confident petite Asian woman in her 20s, who is about a 6. She probably looks fairly generic, has a few Burberry scarfs and LV bags and genuinely thinks she’s an 8.5. I’m sure you all know exactly the type I’m describing if you’ve ever set foot inside a bullpen.

  3. rskarb
    January 11th, 2008 | 6:42 pm

    in pamplona?

  4. 1-2
    January 11th, 2008 | 7:32 pm

    I will let you know..

  5. Matt
    January 11th, 2008 | 8:49 pm

    ““girl” is an over-confident petite Asian woman in her 20s, who is about a 6. She probably looks fairly generic, has a few Burberry scarfs and LV bags and genuinely thinks she’s an 8.5.”

    You just described about 99% of the women in banking and consulting.

    The other 1% are stringy white girls who’d be mildly attractive if laser death rays didn’t shoot out of their eyes.

  6. CW
    January 11th, 2008 | 10:19 pm

    Not only is Matt concise but damn accurate.

  7. Battle of the Sexes
    January 12th, 2008 | 12:56 am

    I wonder if there is a reason “laser death rays” shoot out of the eyes of “stringy white” female colleagues of Matt and CW. Could it be (a) they could live without being sized up as “stringy”; (b) they don’t like the way a lot of the guys treat Asian women as being interchangeable; (c) they’re seeing someone else and certain people don’t get the message; or simply (d) they’re there for business and are sick of being hit on. Here’s a suggestion: try being friendly and helpful to women colleagues over a period of time without staring at their breasts or otherwise coming on to them, and see if the death rays don’t go away.

  8. Battle Axe
    January 12th, 2008 | 3:17 am

    To battle of the sexes: Yes, it could, or it could also be…
    a) they could live without bothering to be nice to anyone since they only care about themselves
    b) they see all men as interchangeable assholes that hit on them
    c) they are not seeing anyone and are ashamed/defensive
    d) they confusedly equate bitchiness with seriousness and use it as a cover for their insecurity

    Here’s a suggestion: drop the death rays and people might actually like you for your personality rather than just focusing on your breasts.

  9. girl
    January 12th, 2008 | 3:11 pm

    haha @ lazer death rays- this is some priceless commentary

    you’re all, however, way off. good effort

  10. Ignatius
    January 12th, 2008 | 4:43 pm

    Battle, one day you might appreciate the time and attention that goes into fixating on your breasts.

    So sad.

  11. 1-2
    January 12th, 2008 | 4:48 pm

    @girl: I bet you didn’t think this week would be so much fun, did you?

    email bess

  12. girl
    January 12th, 2008 | 6:48 pm

    Not in the least! Haha

    I already have…

  13. Ignatius
    January 12th, 2008 | 10:12 pm

    p.s. I want to upstage the other pair and pronounce right here my undying love for you, “girl.” And your chichis.

    God this site is romantic.

  14. Ignatius
    January 12th, 2008 | 10:17 pm

    Crap, that was intended for Battle, not Girl.

    Btw, my take on Girl is that she’s probably not a hotty but plays one on TV.

  15. Battle of the Sexes
    January 13th, 2008 | 1:04 am

    Ignatius, did you take your name from the classic comic novel Confederacy of Dunces? If you haven’t read it, I’m sure you’d enjoy it. By the way, I’m 100% certain I’m not your type, so thanks, but no way. Matt, though I found some of your post irritating enough to respond to, I have to admit the “laser death rays” remark made me laugh. Battle Axe, your riposte was pretty good, too. I still think the workplace atmosphere for the “stringy white girls” is tougher than you realize.

  16. Battle Axe
    January 13th, 2008 | 4:02 am

    For the record, I’m not saying the workplace isn’t hard for stringy white girls, just saying that laser death rays are not going to make it any easier.

  17. Ignatius
    January 13th, 2008 | 7:51 am

    I don’t know what you’re talking about, and frankly I find your commentary an assault on common decency. Further, to suggest that you might better than I discern what characterizes my “type” with respect to the fairer sex, you most surely share the dunder-headed obliviousness of patrolman Mancuso and other savages of our day. I would be most grateful if you never bothered us again with your utterly gut-wrenching tripe.

    P.S. I love you.

  18. 1-2
    January 13th, 2008 | 1:53 pm

    She told me you did…

  19. cletus
    January 13th, 2008 | 3:13 pm

    For all the rampant exhibitionism, she’d better be a 9.

  20. Battle of the Sexes
    January 13th, 2008 | 4:50 pm

    Ignatius, quit pouting! You’re in New York City now! Myrna is out there, somewhere, waiting for you! Go out and find her! And in the meantime, good luck with the actions of your pyloric valve.

  21. the reverend
    January 14th, 2008 | 8:33 am

    come on, isn’t there at least a nonzero chance that Girl is an american black chick? that would throw a real monkey wrench into the decision tree because then should could be anywhere from a 0 to a 5 and still act like she thinks she’s an 8+

    sassy. mmmm.

  22. cletus
    January 14th, 2008 | 9:26 pm

    Reverend, is that your Klan nickname?

  23. Howard Beale
    January 16th, 2008 | 8:20 pm

    So, how’d it go?