The European Market Standard

by Johnny Debacle

I just called [unnamed European I-Bank] with questions pertaining to a deal they are banking and in which my firm is participating. [European I-Bank] had sent my office a document, requesting my reply on a certain issue in the aforementioned deal. They listed two contacts at the bottom of the memo, numbers for London capital markets types who wanted to get feedback on the issue and answer any potential questions or problems we had. Bear in mind, this issue needs to be resolved today and they sent us the memo yesterday afternoon.

So I contacted the first number.

“You have reached the line of [Guy No.1]. I am on Holiday until Octobey 9th, please refer any questions you may have to [Guy No.2] at extension [5555].”

I call [Guy No.2] at extension [5555].

“Sorry, this is [Guy No.2] and I am out of the office until October 16th. Leave me a voicemail and I will get back to you when I get back.”

I then look back to the document and dial the 2nd listed contact’s number.

“You’ve reached [Girl No.1] and I unavailable to answer your call. I will be back in the office on October 4th.”

Recommendation: Short Europe and their non-stop Holiday-taking investment banks. You can’t get it done or make it happen, if your team is never at work.

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