Pink Products for Woman Drivers

by Johnny Debacle

The WSJ had an article which referenced several “Pink Dollarproducts aimed at woman drivers such as pleasingly scented lavender tires and no-slip brake pedals for driving in hooker heels. The list neglected several other “Pink Dollar” products which are at least in a preliminary stage of development and should come to market within 5 years.

  • Special steering wheels equipped with speakers, a wireless connection and a gossip feed so women can stay up to date with what matters most. MSRP $150.
  • Pink car bows, for prettying up the car, making it “cute” and shit. MSRP $300.
  • Token love interest for the car to keep the woman interested in it even though it doesn’t fit in the plot at all. MSRP $Unicorn.
  • “How to Drive with only 33% of the Brain of a Man”* MSRP $18.99.
  • A man to do the driving for you. MSRP $Free, but subscription costs 4 BJs per month
Related Reseach:

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  1. MCE
    March 14th, 2007 | 2:37 pm

    did you write this drunk

  2. March 14th, 2007 | 4:29 pm

    From our about section:

    “Long or Short evaluates hundreds of potential investments each year. Once an opportunity has been identified, we employ employ a number of strategies to forge a recommendation. Most of those involve consuming large quantities of alcohol (”booze”) and many hours due diligienzing gentlemen’s clubs (”boobs”). This B&B process serves to effectively screen out marginal investments and allows a more comprehensive valuation of the assets.”

  3. bootsy call
    March 15th, 2007 | 12:07 am

    wow – real real classy of ya’ll to make with the corrections w/o noting ’em – raising the female brain equivalent from 10% of a man’s to 33% and repositioning “BJs” as “special happy times”

  4. b
    March 15th, 2007 | 9:20 am

    you removed “BJ”? c’mon.

  5. JCauto
    March 15th, 2007 | 9:28 am

    You know what you’re doing here, right? Caving in to the Pink Dollar yourself.

  6. To The Hilt
    March 15th, 2007 | 9:51 am

    Who doesn’t cave in to the pink dollar from time to time?

    How else do you get to the “special happy times?”

  7. Mr Juggles
    March 15th, 2007 | 10:39 am

    The editorial team at Long or Short follows the spirit of kaizen.

  8. March 15th, 2007 | 11:09 am

    bootsy call-

    You do realize we make corrections all the time to all our articles, right? I edited a 15 month old article just yesterday. We imrpove everything we can whenever we can 80% of the time all the time.

    Tracking or making note of marginal changes is valueless.

  9. bootsy call
    March 15th, 2007 | 11:15 am

    no way – in this instance you were out to minimize the douche-baggery you should be standing behind, thereby decreasing your value as a mini-baller

  10. March 15th, 2007 | 12:04 pm

    i’m on bootsy’s side

  11. March 15th, 2007 | 1:08 pm

    Then we are united against Juggles. Coup?

  12. bootsy call
    March 15th, 2007 | 1:26 pm

    aren’t we united against Debacle? what up Juggles?

    ps are you guys gonna post the recent BTB/TTE pairs trade submission?

  13. March 15th, 2007 | 3:03 pm

    Juggles edited the piece post-posting. I was pointing out the idea that we edit things all the time post-posting. I may hate what Juggles did, but I will support his right to do it until my last dying breath.

    Ultimately, I think my artistic vision was superior to his watered down “special happy times”.

  14. To The Hilt
    March 15th, 2007 | 3:07 pm

    Call it what you want. Still feels good.

  15. Professorinfo
    May 27th, 2007 | 1:21 am

    Why don’t we add weight scales to the seat of the car, yea – make it pink also; that will surely make the ladies more conscious, especially at the drive through window…. alright, no gender differential for this idea – make it unisex…. 🙂

    It would be fun to see if this really hits the market…

    Good luck to all,