Pink Products for Woman Drivers
by Johnny DebacleThe WSJ had an article which referenced several “Pink Dollar” products aimed at woman drivers such as pleasingly scented lavender tires and no-slip brake pedals for driving in hooker heels. The list neglected several other “Pink Dollar” products which are at least in a preliminary stage of development and should come to market within 5 years.
- Special steering wheels equipped with speakers, a wireless connection and a gossip feed so women can stay up to date with what matters most. MSRP $150.
- Pink car bows, for prettying up the car, making it “cute” and shit. MSRP $300.
- Token love interest for the car to keep the woman interested in it even though it doesn’t fit in the plot at all. MSRP $Unicorn.
- “How to Drive with only 33% of the Brain of a Man”* MSRP $18.99.
- A man to do the driving for you. MSRP $Free, but subscription costs 4 BJs per month
did you write this drunk
From our about section:
“Long or Short evaluates hundreds of potential investments each year. Once an opportunity has been identified, we employ employ a number of strategies to forge a recommendation. Most of those involve consuming large quantities of alcohol (”booze”) and many hours due diligienzing gentlemen’s clubs (”boobs”). This B&B process serves to effectively screen out marginal investments and allows a more comprehensive valuation of the assets.”
wow – real real classy of ya’ll to make with the corrections w/o noting ’em – raising the female brain equivalent from 10% of a man’s to 33% and repositioning “BJs” as “special happy times”
you removed “BJ”? c’mon.
You know what you’re doing here, right? Caving in to the Pink Dollar yourself.
Who doesn’t cave in to the pink dollar from time to time?
How else do you get to the “special happy times?”
The editorial team at Long or Short follows the spirit of kaizen.
bootsy call-
You do realize we make corrections all the time to all our articles, right? I edited a 15 month old article just yesterday. We imrpove everything we can whenever we can 80% of the time all the time.
Tracking or making note of marginal changes is valueless.
no way – in this instance you were out to minimize the douche-baggery you should be standing behind, thereby decreasing your value as a mini-baller
i’m on bootsy’s side
Then we are united against Juggles. Coup?
aren’t we united against Debacle? what up Juggles?
ps are you guys gonna post the recent BTB/TTE pairs trade submission?
Juggles edited the piece post-posting. I was pointing out the idea that we edit things all the time post-posting. I may hate what Juggles did, but I will support his right to do it until my last dying breath.
Ultimately, I think my artistic vision was superior to his watered down “special happy times”.
Call it what you want. Still feels good.
Why don’t we add weight scales to the seat of the car, yea – make it pink also; that will surely make the ladies more conscious, especially at the drive through window…. alright, no gender differential for this idea – make it unisex…. 🙂
It would be fun to see if this really hits the market…
Good luck to all,
PI