Quotes Entirely Relevant to Investing 1-10-2010

by Mr Juggles

Whoo-eey! [We] won the Grand Slam, and the Super Bowl, and the World Cup! Our science standards are light years ahead of any other state when it comes to challenging evolution!
-David McElroy, the head of Texas State Board of Education;fellow board member David Bradley has this to say in the same article: “This critical-thinking stuff is gobbledygook.”

Past Quotes Entirely Relevant to Investing

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  1. Pleb
    January 19th, 2010 | 1:32 pm

    Light years? No thankee. Tryin’ to quit. You could light his’n’s, though.

  2. Hack Kneed
    January 19th, 2010 | 3:22 pm

    Remember when you used to post a few witty, entertaining paragraphs from time to time? We the readers long for those days.

  3. January 22nd, 2010 | 12:45 am

    Thanks for your quotes that are right on the money.

  4. MasterChief
    January 24th, 2010 | 2:55 pm

    And these paragraphs would cause the people some small amount of merriment.

    But once telepathy and holo-vision were invented, these blogs became obsolete and gradually fell into ruin and disuse.

    Moving on to the next room, there are some lovely exhibits from the Palin Administration.

  5. Bitchtern
    January 25th, 2010 | 3:20 pm

    Please come back.

  6. Cory
    February 1st, 2010 | 12:07 pm

    Is the 404 error going to be the next post?

  7. February 1st, 2010 | 3:51 pm

    What is your major malfunction? Hell, even my lazy ass post more often! (barely)

  8. Pale Nimbus
    February 2nd, 2010 | 4:02 am

    Kaiser Edamame has mistaken Mister Juggles for this dickhead Johnny Debacle. It seems logical because Debacle also works at P&P and in fact does the exact same thing Juggles does and he also has a penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses. Debacle and Juggles even go to the same barber, although Juggles has a slightly better haircut.

    Will you dickweeds quit with all the banking hooey and get back to writing this blog? We deserve as much.

  9. do something
    February 5th, 2010 | 11:42 am

    Why oh why do we continue checking this site every business day, only to see a parade of outdated half-arsed quotes and twitter updates in the place of erstwhile psuedo-intellectual banter? It must be the trademark masochism of the financier. Just rip the band-aid off and declare the site dead already.

  10. February 5th, 2010 | 5:06 pm

    Were I capable of putting-together posts for which LoSC is (was) known, I’d volunteer my services, alas, I fear tarnishing a (once) great brand…

  11. Patrick Bateman
    February 5th, 2010 | 10:51 pm

    There is an idea of a Long or Short Capital; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real blog: only an entity, something illusory. And though it can hide its cold gaze, and you can shake its hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable… it simply is not there.

  12. Patrick Bateman
    February 5th, 2010 | 10:52 pm

    Long or Short has all the characteristics of a blog: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of it and I don’t know why. Its nightly bloodlust has overflown into its days. It feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think its mask of sanity is about to slip.

  13. Patrick Bateman
    February 5th, 2010 | 10:55 pm

    There are no more barriers to cross. All Long or Short has in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem it have caused and our utter indifference toward it it has now surpassed. Our pain is constant and sharp and we do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact we want our pain to be inflicted on others. We want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, our punishment continues to elude us and we gain no deeper knowledge of ourselves; no new knowledge can be extracted from our telling. This confession has meant nothing

  14. Hans Moleman
    February 6th, 2010 | 12:29 am

    So … did J.D. Salinger write this blog?

  15. Patrick Bateman
    February 6th, 2010 | 12:50 am

    Hey Anal_yst, I’m sure you’re qualified to write for Long or Short. I started to read your post today “Should Individuals Be Regulated Like Wall St. Banks?”

    As I read the first sentances I was really hoping for a parody.

    And you know you could have taken it in that direction. And it would have been awesome. And long and short worthy.

  16. Dead_Cat
    February 9th, 2010 | 7:40 am

    RIP LoS. That’s what happens when you come second in the Doomsday Device Fund market.

  17. theGeneral
    February 9th, 2010 | 11:46 am

    Call to arms | save LoS

    • Recruit a LoS follower colloquium to design new content ideas
    • Hold online mini-baller roulette contest with paypal accounts, obfuscated names, and list of highly suggestive purchase ideas
    • Have content ghost-written by ex-Bear Stearns traders – which will also be BS – all moderated by Dead_Cat
    • Conduct global exotic asset arbitrage contest to hedge against pay-czar double cash-fisting, Bernanke psychosis, or fmr. Soviet-satellite state truces with cephalopods
    • Seek out other fin. blog as white knight from the inevitable hostile attempts from other blogs. Perhaps ft echoville, the once popular British deathbond satire offshoot site of alpha
    • Mash keyboard in contempt each day while name dropping Blankfien, Buffet, Kravis, JW Blue to generate [possibly] a coherent string of semi-humorous material

  18. Bitchtern
    February 9th, 2010 | 2:59 pm

    Does any one know is they’re still alive? I am getting worried. I might go cut myself in the bathroom…

  19. February 9th, 2010 | 8:24 pm

    Obviously, I’m down to help.

  20. MasterChief
    February 9th, 2010 | 11:15 pm


    Don’t get all emo.

    Count the months since JD’s Baby Carriage Expose/panicked cry for help over imminent fatherhood.

    I’m thinking there’s a small, beautiful bundle of joy that’s sucking the life out of this site like “Nancy” with the giant salt-suckers from that old Star Trek episode set on planet M-113.

    In all, hope the new family is doing well.

  21. Dead_Cat
    February 10th, 2010 | 9:36 am

    Terrible timing – market supply of children has spiked dramatically in recent weeks, causing a calamitous drop-off in pricing for those caught long.

  22. Cory
    February 10th, 2010 | 12:11 pm

    LMAO @ Dead_Cat

    I just doubled my long position.

  23. Bitchtern
    February 10th, 2010 | 4:07 pm

    Well my most sincere congratulations. This was/is still one of the most well-written websites.

    MasterChief, my old man was in the Navy. I almost was too but had to pull my packet for some “issues” to clear up and never got around to putting it back in.


  24. To The Hilt
    February 11th, 2010 | 1:37 pm

    Batemen, you’re like the best cut/paste/few-word-substituter ever.

  25. MasterChief
    February 12th, 2010 | 12:01 am


    Thank your father for his service.

    In the end, you’re better off having gone straight into finance. Most of the stories I remember from those days seem to involve truly inappropriate use of firearms and deviant sexuality [by others, of course].

  26. Andrew
    February 12th, 2010 | 12:40 pm

    It would be funny if the United States was actually light years ahead in science. The only science the US has, or the Western world for that matter, are pocket televisions for sports.

    We don’t even have a manufacturing base!


  27. Dead_Cat
    February 12th, 2010 | 3:42 pm

    You make the most sophisticated weapons in the world. There’s always a market for that. Also spray cheese.

  28. denmark
    February 12th, 2010 | 5:22 pm

    Downhill since the tweetering started. Hope los not going way of lso. What’s the move on the crabzilla find already

  29. February 12th, 2010 | 5:43 pm

    I have taken it upon myself to contact the one-time proprietors of this here blog, but have yet to receive a response. The silence is deafening…

  30. Fonzerelli
    February 15th, 2010 | 11:32 am

    At this point I think its best if we ask ourselves, at what point did LoS jump the shark? This will aid in the healing process. It will help us shift from mourning to equanimity, as we acknowledge the impermanence of all things both good and bad.

    I think, without question, it was the cephalopod series. That was the beginning of the end. The twittering was just part of the death spasms.

    And if that doesn’t work we can always take pride as a nation in our innovations in spray cheese.

  31. Puzzler
    February 15th, 2010 | 11:50 am

    Masterchief, you’ve truly cracked the code. That’s the clearest explanation.

    Just as buying a home makes us much less interesting than renting*, parents are even more boring than property owners. Sometimes the two conditions coincide, at which point life is effectively over.

    This may have happened to Debacle. Sad news indeed, but a clever insight.


    *”People who rent talk about the books that they’ve read, the trips that they’ve taken, the skills that they are learning, the friends whose company they are enjoying. Property owners complain about the local politicians, the high rate of property tax, the difficulty of finding competent tradespeople, the high value of their own (very likely crummy) house or condo, and what kinds of furniture and kitchen appliances they are contemplating buying. Property owners are boring. The most boring parts of a property owner’s personality are those which relate to his or her ownership of real estate.” – Philip Greenspun

  32. February 19th, 2010 | 5:17 pm

    Forgive the unsolicited advert, but I’ve finally gotten around to starting a site, soon to be up and running at http://www.stonestreetadvisors.com

    Several of you have demonstrated impressive skills, and I’d be glad to have some of you join me, if you have anything even tangentially related to fiance about which to write.

    its dot the dot anal dot yst at gmail dot com

  33. TraderLHX
    February 25th, 2010 | 2:17 am

    @LoSC – Excellent quote regarding the state of some politicians in my home state.

    @Anal_yst – Quite the interesting handle. At first I didn’t realize it was a play on ‘analyst,’ forgive me if it wasn’t quite clear.

  34. February 25th, 2010 | 8:15 pm


    it started around 2006 when a boss told me I was too anal reviewing pitchbooks/models/etc and my response that “you can’t be too anal,” and only secondarily due to the double entendre/innuendo aspect, but yes, its a play on Analyst.

  35. To The Hilt
    February 26th, 2010 | 11:53 am


    You guys read any good books lately?

    I just finished “The Holy Grail of Macroeconomics: Lessons from Japan’s Great Recession” and let me tell you, it’s a thriller.

    Look out for the upcoming movie version starring Jet Li as Japanes Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi and Russell Crowe as Alan Greenspan.

  36. discovery watcher
    March 30th, 2010 | 9:11 pm

    as a subscriberholder of this blog i move to elect a new board and some writers. is an annual report even being prepared this year?