Russia Will Kill Us With Our Dividends

by Johnny Debacle

A year ago, I published a report entitled Is Russia a Place to Invest or a Place to Fear? which dealt with the rise of Russia as a popular destination for Western capital. The precis is as follows:

A common investing theme is that Russia is the place to put your money. Why?

Burgeoning middle class!!
Favorable demographics!!
Heavily educated human capital base from which to draw!!
More oil than T. Boone Pickens!!
Business friendly, and otherwise unfriendly, Dictator Tsar General-Secretary President Putin!!
Tradition of outlining and executing 3-5 year plans!!
Tradition of strongly protected property rights, economic openness and political stability!!
Literature with greats like Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn!!
And for the kidsGULAGS!!

Well sorry to be the turd in the blinchiki but Russia is jockeying to try and do the only thing they know to try and do: nuke the USA and rule the world. They don’t care about economic openness. They don’t care about working hard and they don’t believe in capitalism. They want three things, in no specific order.

Vodka.
World Domination.
To do evil.

Well, it took a year but the Ruskies found my article and posted it on the livejournal page of an alleged (by me) member of the Kremlin. The comments are mostly in cyrillic, but running some through babelfish led to this disconcerting discovery:

it is necessary to survive from the mind in order, after pursuing after the visibility of large dividentov, to pack money into vostanovleniye of the potential of the imperial militarism

Their plan is to use Long or Short Capital’s own dividend policy against us, and “pack money” into “the potential of the imperial militarism,” e.g. raze Long or Short and perhaps the Western World.

Recommendation: Short Long or Short?

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