Short Europe

by Kaiser Edamame

So I’m in Berlin on the day of the World Cup Final and it’s the busiest day in the city since World War II and I think these people hate money.

I’ve been trying to buy a French jersey:

  • Went to big department store but they only carry German jerseys.
  • Went to the largest sporting goods store and “World Cup Merchandise Headquarters” but they are closed because it’s Sunday.
  • There is no one selling jerseys on the street, only lanyards. The supply demand balance in lanyards in Berlin is completely out of whack; I predict a 300% decline in lanyard prices.
  • Went to Nike Town – they are open but they don’t sponsor France, adidas does.
  • Went to adidas brand store and they are open but have 0 supply of anything french; they have been sold out for 3 days. I asked if they knew what FedEx was and they said ‘nine’
  • Tried bribing a guy on the street with 100 euros for the smelly Zidane jersey he was wearing and he told me I was a typical American trying to buy everything. He told me Zidane hates Americans. I said that’s ok because at least he likes money.

Long: Anyone with a brain and ambition in Europe.
Short: Lanyards

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