Slimming camera

by Mr Juggles

HP’s new camera offers an “artistic effect” that slims the subjects. Now you can take pictures of your fat friends and make them look (almost) like normal people.

Here are a few other “artistic effects” that we’d like to see:

  • Enlarge my wallet
  • Remove Johnny Debacle
  • Make people look fat (mainly a revenge feature for ex-gf, etc.)
  • Give me a chin
  • Turn any female butt shot into a Biel butt
Related Reseach:

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  1. June 18th, 2007 | 5:28 pm

    Actually that camera can make subjects fatter as well. Just drag the slider down from center. Incidentally, I highly doubt this works well without severely disturbing the background.

    In related news, anybody think it’s a little batty that Kodak is up over 10% on news that it has a patent that it will potentially develop into a new technology that may dramatically reduce the need for flash?

  2. contra-indicator
    June 18th, 2007 | 5:42 pm

    you’re short aren’t you? so is 50% of the float. just FYI the most successful short seller in history ended up like this:

    n the Squibb building at 745 Fifth Avenue, at the age of 63, Jesse Livermore entered the Sherry-Netherland Hotel on November 28, 1940, at 4:30 in the afternoon. Sitting on a stool at the end of the cloakroom, he withdrew a .32-caliber Colt automatic pistol (he had bought the gun in 1928 while he was living in Evermore), placed the barrel of the gun behind his right ear and pulled the trigger, dying instantly.[10]

    The police revealed that there was a suicide note of eight small handwritten pages in Livermore’s personal notebook. It was reported in the November 30 issue of the New York Tribune.[11] The press wanted to know what it said, and the police tersely responded: “There was a leather-bound memo book found in Mr. Livermore’s pocket. It was addressed to his wife.” A police spokesman read from the notebook: “My dear Nina: Can’t help it. Things have been bad with me. I am tired of fighting. Can’t carry on any longer. This is the only way out. I am unworthy of your love. I am a failure. I am truly sorry, but this is the only way out for me. Love Laurie”

  3. June 18th, 2007 | 7:15 pm

    Like that is related to his short-selling or short-selling in general. Get a grip, drama queen indicator.

  4. June 18th, 2007 | 7:37 pm

    Actually I’m long EK. Good try, though.
    Incidentally, why don’t you talk about all the long-only guys who offed themselves during the big crashes? There are more long investors who committed suicide than shorts. A single outlier makes for funny banter the next time you’re sipping Zimas with your mutual fund buddies, but hardly makes a valid point.

  5. June 19th, 2007 | 8:24 am

    Cool it with the Anti-Zima remarks.