Stick and the Eskimo

by Bear

I once spent an inexplicable amount of time with an Inuit who told me that you can “reason” with a brown bear or a grizzly bear. If you happen upon either type of bear, you simply bargain – i.e., “Look, bear, I have so much salmon, you want so much salmon. Let’s be reasonable and cut a deal.” This Inuit claimed, however, that a Polar Bear was the one type of bear with whom “you cannot reason.” I hope that this is so, if Soros is indeed being pursued by such a bear.

Any amount of time with an Inuit is inexplicable. There is a reason the Quebecois detest them.

But it’s true, we are eminently pragmatic. And our desire for pragmatism is only boosted by our physicality. The carrot looks pretty good to your counterparty when your stick is a 1500lb bear that can knock your head off with one swipe. Hence, pragmatic, reasonable solutions to problems tend to happen. The government knows what I’m talking about. There is nothing else you will need to know.

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  1. May 29th, 2010 | 4:06 pm

    Generally, somethings better than nothing, however, in this case, so much cannot yet be determined.

  2. hoser
    June 3rd, 2010 | 12:49 pm

    Can you please let me know the impact of the oil spill on my long cephalopod/short humanity trade that this site is responsible for me entering into? To what extent is this a cover for humanity to nuke the gulf, and if you see this as a secular or a cyclical reversal?

  3. To The Hilt
    June 3rd, 2010 | 1:09 pm

    i am confused.

  4. MasterChief
    June 3rd, 2010 | 2:18 pm

    The carping must stop.

    “This is all you will need to know”

    is as much an act of pure, unbridled genius as

    “In Project Mayhem, there are no names”

    Juggles has spoken. Now we can be known to each other on the street.

    Order a mohito, and tell the bartender “this is all you will need to know”

    Book a flight, and tell your admin “this is all you will need to know”

    Juggles has returned to free us. The bear is the animal-deity instantiation of all our fears.

    This unpredictable turn of events is brilliant.

    also, Hoser, who do you think set the limpet charges on the oil rig in the first place? I’m pretty confident the tentacle-print evidence lead in only one direction.

  5. Matthew Albers
    June 14th, 2010 | 4:57 pm

    RIP, LoS Capital, RIP…

  6. HAM05
    June 15th, 2010 | 10:45 am


  7. Aspiring Mini-Baller
    June 15th, 2010 | 2:12 pm

    When is the dog gone bear going to post again? Starving over here.

  8. hoser
    June 15th, 2010 | 5:00 pm

    Bears are notoriously sensitive creatures. They become very angry even if you only suggest taking one of their young or contradict their investment theses. Nouriel Roubini is a prime example of both of these points. As a result, Anal_yst’s comment provoked a profound sadness in the bear and a self concious fear of not being funny. Sad Bears do not post. Again, with Roubini as a model, we can expect a return of LoS when it has had a sufficient amount of alcohol with college-aged women of questionable moral firmness, which will happen in the next big move down. Recommendation: Long sad bears, short rainbows and happiness.

  9. Matt Albers
    July 1st, 2010 | 12:28 pm

    Given the most basic valuation for a company, PV of all expected future cash flows(postings), I am willing to forgo payment of accumulated past dividends and assume ownership of LOS Capital for $1 USD. In return, I will take over posting and return LOS to value.

  10. Fried Bananas
    July 8th, 2010 | 11:13 am

    Cephalopod longs should take note of the media attention surrounding one said octopus who can predict the success of Zee Germans in the World Cup. This could be a pump and dump.

  11. mr mcknuckles
    July 12th, 2010 | 3:33 pm

    Fried bananas –

    Paul, like all of our cephalopod overlords, is wise. Humans are not. This explains why sports stars continue playing well after they are past their prime. Paul, on the other hand, demonstrated a small portion of his superiority and is now retiring to eat shellfish.

  12. July 23rd, 2010 | 10:28 am

    In the absence of the usual banter loyal readers have come accustomed to, I would like to draw your attention to some GENIUS content produced by Harvard Business school on “getting it done”.

    The article is titled “Execute Your Strategy—Without Killing It”. This is very misleading. You cannot execute flawlessly against your strategy and “not kill it”.

    However confidence is restored later in the article with the following:

    “Lessons from those that have been successful in doing so provide a useful refresher course on the key tenets of getting things done”

    Clearly they are ahead of the game.

  13. awesome guy
    July 28th, 2010 | 10:05 am

    So…you’re a bear now?

  14. August 19th, 2010 | 6:56 pm

    I’ve always suspected that Harvard Business School would specialize in teaching the “tenets of getting things done”, based on the sheer preponderance of HBS grads who are grade A mini-ballers.

    I hadn’t realized they would also instruct students to avoid “killing it”, but based on the evidence to date, HBS grads do so often avoid “killing it”.

    Clearly there is a method behind their madness. Not necessarily a method I would recommend, but indeed its a method.