Thank You Child

by Mr Juggles

Dear Future Child of Mine [Chase or Madison depending on your gender],

Thank you for the tax rebate. $600 was a very generous gift for such a small child. I know that, at some point in the future, you will have probably have to work a full week — taxes will be higher — to pay for this gift. So I want you to know that I really appreciate it. I have been frivolous lately and made some bad decisions (the 2nd home with the pik-n-pay mortgage, the jacuzzi, the viking kitchen) that I really couldn’t afford. So I’ll probably use the $600 to pay off some of my personal debt. That will leave less debt to eat into the estate I’m planning to leave you (post-tax, of course)!!


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  1. MGW
    April 21st, 2008 | 10:07 am

    It must have been a bad year for you if you made less than the $70k cutoff for this rebate.

    You actually should be writing your letter to everyone else in finance who makes more than $70k. You’re welcome for the gift of $600.

  2. April 21st, 2008 | 10:47 am

    Yes, I also have second home with a ARM mortgage, a jacuzzi and a viking kitchen.

  3. Harndog
    April 21st, 2008 | 11:51 am

    Here is my version:

    Our family at dinner –

    Father: I just want to apologize to the kids before starting the meal, your share of the national debt is $175,000. (according to the General Accounting Office)* The states fiscal condition is even worse and my generation has pledged 90% of our assets to maintain our lifestyle.

    In addition, our military is overextended and needs its stuff replaced.

    Any questions….

    Ok…good. Let’s eat.


  4. Size
    April 21st, 2008 | 1:12 pm

    If only we spent as little on entitlement programs as we spend on the military, we’d all be much richer.

  5. Peter
    April 21st, 2008 | 1:24 pm

    And our children will have three options:
    1. Give the debt to the following generation
    2. Pay back the debt – buhahaha loool
    3. Devaluate the currency

    I prefer N°3 – especially since Bernanke is already on the best way the

    short even more debt and long gold

  6. dug
    April 22nd, 2008 | 11:46 pm

    Estate? Any proper parent of this generation will leave only debts behind. A home mortgaged 1.25 LTV, maxed out credit cards, a minimum of 2 upside down car leases, an overdrawn bank account with accrued fees in excess of the maximum balance for the last year, and a loan from the 401 with taxes still due that was invested in the last trip to Vegas, and of course supporting any political candidate that promises a way to vote themselves rich.

  7. unintelligent
    April 23rd, 2008 | 2:23 am

    At$600/hypothetical child, put me down for a dozen.

  8. HF
    April 23rd, 2008 | 5:48 am

    The great thing is, and at least over here, you can choose whether to accept your ineritance or not. If you accept you will receive all the assets but will have to pay all the liabilities. So the best thing to do is, put all your money on an offshore trust, spend all your credit cards plafon (for those who don’t have a Black Card) and then all your kids have to do is: say no to you ineritance…

  9. fishboy
    April 24th, 2008 | 8:24 am

    Juggles, on behalf of my investors, thank you for spending your rebate paying down debt. It has been a rough couple of quarters in the structured portfolios and we need all the help we can get!

    Best wishes,
    Icthyon Capital