The Anti-Portfolio

by User Submitted

Submitted by LoS reader Winston Wolfe

In our never ending search of good buy-side targets, we stumbled across Bessemer Venture Partners and their “Anti-Portfolio”. Said portfolio chronicles the venture opportunities that this all-knowing venture capital firm has passed on during the last 15 years. Opportunities include, but are not limited to, Apple, eBay, Federal Express (seven times), Google, Intel, and PayPal. Although publicly flaunting your failures might to most seem like a bad idea, we see this as an opportunity to explore a totally new growth area, what we call the “Anti-Space.” Accordingly, we are having our analysts flush out a plethora of new ideas including the:

Anti-Girls-I’ve-Slept-With Portfolio – Girls we had the chance with when they were ugly, and now won’t call us back (Links may not be SFW).

Anti-Comments Portfolio – Those opportunities we had to lay someone out with a cutting remark, but didn’t pull the trigger.

  • HR says: “I think we may need to spice up the office with some new plants.”

    Anti-Comment: “You moronic mouth breathing land-monster.”

  • Managing Director says: “Did you finish that DCF?”

    Anti-Comment: “That’s what she said”

  • IT says: “Maybe after I fix this printer we can grab a drink.”

    Anti-Comment: “Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”

Recommendation: In line with our Anti-Investment Strategy, but we see significant hedging opportunities in investing in things you didn’t invest in and not investing in things you did invest in.

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