Translating Corporate Speak: Hang Fung Gold Technology

by Mr Juggles

Lam Sai-wing is the head of Hang Fung Gold Technology, a retail jewelry company based out of Hong Kong, famous for its Swisshorn Gold Palace. The WSJ caught up with him to talk about his golden romper room.

Corporate speak:

Building a gold toilet, I realized…would be like an investment, plus we could let people see it for an admission fee, and we could use it to launch our brand. [Besides gold prices were so low they could only go up; buying gold at $200 an ounce would hedge against inflation]

-Lam Sai-wing


This was the perfect way for me to stoke my ego plus it was a sizable risky speculation in a commodity which, as a retail jewelry business, is not what we should be doing — another reason it was a great idea! I knew that if gold went up, I would look like a genius and likely get a nod from the Wall Street Journal who eats up these zany stories; if gold went down or stayed the same, I would look like the guy with the crazy big ego but I’d still be rocking a gilded room. A classic win-win situation for me, win-lose for the shareholders. It’s all in the game.

Corporate speak:

The toilet and the Guan Yin statue are the most valuable pieces[.] As for the toilet, that’s the cornerstone of our company[.] It’s an icon. It will never be taken apart.

-Lam Sai-wing


As for the toilet, that’s my throne. It will be taken apart if the price is right.

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  1. July 7th, 2008 | 5:30 pm

    If he were REALLY the man, he’d be smart enough to go swing by Sharper Image (or whatevers left of it) and get a sweetass massage chair for pennies on the dollar. Only thing better than a gold throne, is a reclining, deep-tissue massaging throne.

  2. 1-2 Knockout Blows
    July 10th, 2008 | 8:52 am

    Blows big-time. Face it you are not as funny as LoS or Dealbreaker. Please stop.

  3. July 10th, 2008 | 9:34 am

    Where was the joke? If you are going to give banal criticsm spice it up with an argument and a joke — that should be the bare minimum threshold for posting a comment — an argument (with evidence or explanation, a why if you will) and a joke. By that criteria, your comment is a complete and total failure.

  4. July 14th, 2008 | 10:29 am

    @ 8:52

    Maybe because we’re not Dealbreaker or LoSC, nor are we trying to be.

    As Mr. Juggles has pointed out, come back when you’ve got something remotely interesting or insightful to say. Thanks for reading.