Colossal Squid: Future World Power

by Johnny Debacle

Just months after the first live giant squid was captured on film, New Zealand fisherman caught the largest squid ever, a 990lb colossal squid which measures 46 feet long in length. The next largest squid ever was 660lbs. The increasing frequency of giant and colossal squid sightings continues to point to only one logical conclusion — squids are scouting out the surface world for conquest and real estate development for when global warming fully empowers them to master the human race.

Some background on the colossal squid:

This squid has one of the largest beaks known of any squid and also has unique swivelling hooks on the clubs at the ends of its tentacles.

This combination allows it to attack fish as large as the Patagonian toothfish and probably to also attempt to maul sperm whales.

“When this animal was alive, it really has to be one of the most frightening predators out there. It’s without parallel in the oceans,” said Dr. O’Shea.

Source: BBC

Global warming ensures that the oceans will rise and cover more of the Earth, causing polar bears to drown left and right and man to be subject to dominance by squid. In a world filled with ocean, we recommend having a position in the being which is “without parallel in the oceans” and which is three times the size of a bus.

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