How successful has Domino’s been in bringing pooplets to market?

by Johnny Debacle

Actual image of Domino's productDomino’s (NYSE: DPZ) is widely known as a chain of delivery aligned pizza restaurants which used to use Satan as its mascot. Their new “brownie” substitute product has alternately enthralled and repelled us. According to our research, Domino’s Brownie Squares represent the first ever instance by a food company to legally market and distribute fecal matter. If you haven’t had the pictured product yet, it tastes exactly like what it resembles– glazed pooplet souffle.

This is a brilliant attempt to improve margins by selling human (animal/alien?) waste to the Drunk/Stoned market, which is known to be both price and taste insensitive. We are still trying to unravel whether Domino’s is making money coming and going, being paid to take the waste and then selling the processed waste to their customers. Either way we are attracted to what may be a delicious high margin business model for the entire food industry.

It is difficult to ascertain how successful Domino’s efforts have been at this time so if you have any experience with or knowledge of their current or future fecal delivery platforms, please share it within the comments below.

Share This, Please