Humor Liquidity, Please Don’t Ask About Solvency

by Mr Juggles

For those of you who are worried about our humor liquidity, let me put it to rest. We will be able to continue to make our articles the best ever because the Fed has agreed to backstop all humor liquidity from their newly opened “The Window” Window. We can use as much as we want. Additionally, the restrictions have been lowered on the quality of the underlying jokes required to be used as collateral; pathetic wordplay jokes pertaining to regression such as “I’m regressing” now qualify along with the more traditional nuanced satirical jokes. “The Window” Window will be open to us for the period of one month from today. Also, “Today” resets every day. As a result of the fact that it is always “Today” we will have infinity months of federally guaranteed humor and we hope to remain humor solvent until this crisis abates. Thank you for sticking with Long or Short in this harrowing time.

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