Jacqueline Passey is Not Attractive, So Short Her

by Johnny Debacle

See our earlier attractiveness analysis on Emily Lechner ( This Girl is Not Attractive So Short Her) and Diana Binachi (Financial Analysis of Diana Bianchi). Passey has a blog.

Clearly a best possible photo. Her face is impossibly well lit, perfectly clear and somehow kept from looking deathly pale. Tasteful cleaveage is a plus, but the the extent of it and the ratio of it to the rest of her body are left without context. Not dependent on the blush of youth. There are hints of the structural and cheek issues which become apparent from looking at a few further photographs. Also it appears that she has used her own hair to make her necklace.

The forehead rears its ugly head, so to speak. Thin lips and a head wider than her face. The ratios are definitely off. And there is a squarish quality to the face not unlike a cabbage patch kid. Again no context for the body. She appears to have eyes for the microphone which may indicate a proclivity for being a hellcat in bed. Or a deep seated love of karaoke.

Recommendation: Jacqueline Passey is not attractive. Our valuation puts her worth at approximately .37 Emily Lechner‘s on our Foreign Exchange for Humans. There is a chance of convergence in the intermediate term as the Passey gains against the Lechner and the Bianchi, due to the latter two’s dependence on nubility, but this opportunity is muted.

Jacqueline Passey is an female econ-blogger of sorts, and one who has pointed out more than once how attractive she is. Good for her to be so confident and self-assured; better for savvy market participants who have the ability to be on the selling side of any Jacqueline Passey transaction.

Quoted from a recent blog entry titled Dating tip: Quality dates Quality.

I’m slim (whereas 62% of American women age 20 to 74 are overweight)

I’m attractive (my new picture has been rated more attractive than 86% of the women on Hot or Not — and the women who upload their pictures are a self-selected sample that is probably already biased towards being more attractive than the general female population)

The above list [ed note: much more than what we list here] explains why I typically receive 50-100 (sometimes more) responses whenever I post personal ads. This is in addition to getting hit on almost every time I go out alone (and all that those men know about me is that they like the way I look, they don’t even know about all the other qualities I have that make me more appealing than most other women).

Personal ads responses are mainly dependent upon being a woman asset (or in many cases just pretending to be one). Getting hit on in public requires two ingredients 1) breathing and 2) being a woman. These things are signals of nothing. Just wanted to point that out.

Ad Sense Ad Sense


  1. GreatBlog
    August 14th, 2006 | 2:09 pm

    I just spent about 5 minutes laughing at this one, fantastic! Someday perhaps hedging strategies?

  2. a superior photo
    August 14th, 2006 | 6:41 pm

    (click website link)

  3. August 14th, 2006 | 9:18 pm

    I think someone forgot to tell her that even %99.87 of fat and ugly people get laid.

  4. Umfoofoo
    August 14th, 2006 | 11:55 pm

    She looks like she could be Guiliani’s daughter.

  5. August 15th, 2006 | 12:57 am

    Well said, I concur.

  6. Tom Jacobs
    August 15th, 2006 | 1:10 am

    How did you find this broad?

  7. Mr Juggles
    August 15th, 2006 | 4:06 am

    JD saw her linked via MarginalRevolution which is an awesome blog. We’ve all seen her linked in different places in the past.

  8. August 15th, 2006 | 5:52 am

    Jacqueline is beautiful. Check this out:


  9. Mr Juggles
    August 15th, 2006 | 9:30 am

    Thank you for that pic, Jacqueline Passey’s Internet BF. It looks like a picture of the woman we wrote about above.

  10. K2
    August 15th, 2006 | 1:13 pm

    If she’s so damned attractive and cosmopolitan, why does she have the same janky outfit on every time I see a photo of her?

  11. Quality Male
    August 15th, 2006 | 3:35 pm

    But will she underperform her sector? Isn’t it possible that she could outperform an equally weighted (heh) basket of obnoxious skanks?

  12. NoPostion
    August 16th, 2006 | 11:05 am

    For those of you wanting to take a postion in this market sector but desiring diversification and lower expense ratios, please consider investing in the Barclay iShares ETF representing a broad (get it, broad) index of the sector. Trading under GRL, this sector play offers hedging opportunities along with exposure to a dynamic market opportunity. The components of GRL have been selected to provide ongoing value with potential upside. The WAM (weighted average maturity) of the fund is laddered. Please review the prospectus prior to investing and recognize that prices, while offering short term upside, will unfortunately decline in the long term. Note: Jackie P. is not a constituent of GRL. 🙂

  13. Andrew
    August 16th, 2006 | 12:05 pm
  14. Liz
    August 16th, 2006 | 5:15 pm

    Thank you for taking this person out in one incredibly well written, hilarious blog entry. Y’all rule! And Maurice, JP’s internet BF and BFF, please just stoooooppppppppp!

  15. RD
    August 16th, 2006 | 6:29 pm

    If the greater fool theory holds correct, which seems that it is considering there are those posting on here actually thinking Jacqueline is hot, then this may work out as an excellent transaction. Consider an asset swap if you will in a foreign market. Maybe even in Russia does that fool exist and you can swap your sub par asset for the coveted Russian Legs.

  16. RG
    August 17th, 2006 | 1:04 am

    After extensive comparative analysis, male households would be well advised to swap their can openers for Jacquelin’s chin. Same utility with, apparently, ‘high libido’. It should be noted the cost of carry is much higher.

  17. August 17th, 2006 | 3:49 pm

    She forgot to list her American Citenzenship as an asset and it was never mentioned in determining her true value on the world market–might she be more valuable to foreign investors looking to gain a foothold in the States?

  18. Jeff
    August 18th, 2006 | 12:31 am

    This girl is the female version of Jay Leno if he got hit in the face with a shovel by a crazed fan.

  19. August 18th, 2006 | 3:47 am

    “Getting hit on in public requires two ingredients 1) breathing and 2) being a woman.”
    The first of those is sometimes negotiable.

  20. um and
    August 18th, 2006 | 9:24 am

    I followed roughtly the same path to JMPP’s blog (there is a more recent post remarking on the popularity of the entry in which she itemizes her assets, as quoted here) and was particularly struck by this claim:
    # I’m relatively young (whereas 82% of American adult women are over 30 years old)

    Which annoyed me so much that I actually went and looked up the life expectancy of American women to confirm my suspicion that, indeed, 80% of American women should be older than her. If “adulthood” starts at 18, and the average life expectancy of an American woman is a wee bit over 80 years, that means that women over 30 should make up just over 80% of the population of Adult Women. I heard a rumor about a thing called a baby boom. Call me crazy but I’m figuring that more than accounts for the wee shift upwards in that figure. I don’t know where she is drawing the “old” line, and I can’t be bothered to open the census spreadsheet she’s provided, but the problem with Jackie Passey is not that she is not attractive, it is that she is a totally self-important moron. I’m sorry that she didn’t have to take any math classes in her four years of college.

    If she really gets hit on that much, it might be a little something more than just her stature and physical features at work. Like the fact that she is still baring her midriff at 30 which does hint at a certain desire for affirmation and attention.

    I’m getting catty, so I’ll leave it there. I even deleted my catty comment about hot-or-not.

  21. August 18th, 2006 | 6:00 pm

    As somemone specifically not looking for a new partner, partly because I’m barely out of one with an NPD, I have had some good talks via email from a couple of people I’ve met through an ad. One has been very interesting regarding screenwriting, which I know nothing of,another is into horticulture.
    So I have met two seemingly nice men from an ad I specifically said I was not looking for dating-just penpals. I did have a pretty limiting ad- but it mostly said things like… I don’t like angry people, or people who argue for no reason, or who don’t read books. If I was being all snotty and particular about not finding people who were ‘beneath’ me, I wouldn’t have a chance to meet someone who could teach me about horticulture or screenwriting. The only thing it proves that there were so many responses to such a self-centered ad is that plenty of people like me saw it on another website being laughed at (I was on a Narcissistic Personality Disorder victim support site), and it was really the laugh it was described as, or else they are people who are pretending to have the multitude of characteristics you seem worthy of, on a lark…. or flat out crazy people who think signs hace shown them you two belong together. I doubt any of the men who replied would allow themselves to be put on a show-and-tell list to prove they actually exist, so I’ll have to go on believing the whole thing’s a farce.


  22. Dr. DRE
    August 19th, 2006 | 2:02 pm

    Doesn’t anyone else notice in that photo of her on the plane that she looks like Frank-N-Furter?

  23. Calvin
    August 20th, 2006 | 8:52 pm

    [quote]One has been very interesting regarding screenwriting, which I know nothing of,another is into horticulture.[/quote]

    You can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make her think.

  24. jeffbot
    August 21st, 2006 | 6:12 am

    Is she’s so attractive why does she have to post personal ads?

  25. M.C. Curtis
    September 3rd, 2006 | 1:10 pm

    She forgot to mention in her bio how humble she is.

  26. September 25th, 2006 | 11:01 pm
  27. March 12th, 2007 | 12:15 pm

    Stock analysis: Sound investment. I’d go long on it and ride it all the way up.

    In English: I’d hit it. Oh, yeah. Much. Often.

    But really: Hey, most people have a mental investment in both self-image and attractiveness to others. That’s why my own blog portrays me about 40 pounds lighter than I am at this very moment, with my head freshly shaven instead of stubbly, and wearing a suit instead of boxers and flip-flops. If being smarter than you and destined to rule the world isn’t enough for Jacqueline Passey — if she also feels that she must enhance the portrayal of her formidable biological assets — what of it?

  28. Caveman
    March 13th, 2007 | 12:06 am


  29. Zach
    October 11th, 2007 | 10:34 am

    I am sure she is much more attractive than most of the people who are posting on the comments area. I would say she is not movie star attractive, but is certainly more attractive than the average american, and I would guess that blog commenters (myself included) are more likely to be less attractive than the mean. I don’t read your blog much, but do you have pictures of yourself posted so we can rate your attractiveness?

  30. January 17th, 2008 | 4:01 pm

    Every picture I’ve ever seen of her, she’s always looked a bit…orange.

  31. January 17th, 2008 | 5:50 pm

    I don’t read your blog much, but do you have pictures of yourself posted so we can rate your attractiveness?

    Point being, that when you post a long, insufferable public post about how incredibly irresistable a catch you are, we (as unattractive as some might be) have every right to give her the verbal thrumming she so richly deserves.

    She claims that she’s more* attractive than 86% of humanity. By virtue of those statements, she has placed herself in a position to be judged by us. And judge we will.

    She’s “HWP”, nothing more. If all it took to be more attractive than 86% of humanity was height-weight-proportionality, I’d be a movie star.

    *her “self selecting” comment suggests that she’s in the top 86% of the already most attractive percentile, which I can assure you, she’s so…so not.

  32. November 16th, 2009 | 9:14 pm

    It’s Rudy Giuliani!