Mugabe It Ain’t So, It Ain’t So

by Johnny Debacle

Lots of potential investors have been inquiring about our take on the Zimbabwean elections which occurred over the weekend and indicate that Mugabe and his party, ZANU-PF, have lost the election to control the breadbasket of Africa, Zimbabwe. Some people seem to think that this means that it is al over for Mugabe and his reign of economic progressiveness with his policy of Zimbabwenomics. Some people seem like they need to get more familiar with Zimbabwenomics and its underlying principles.

  • Fact: On a nominal vote basis ZANU-PF lost the parliamentary elections.
    Reality: When you adjust the votes to account for the real rate of tyranny, you see that ZANU-PF won by a significant majority, a veritable tyrannical mandate
  • Fact: The elections are over.
    Reality: When you again account for the real rate of tyranny, you’ll see that the elections not only are not over, but they may not have actually taken place to begin with. Reality exists, but only so long as Mugabe permits it.

Recommendation: If Mugabe is living, he is ruling, and since Mugabe recently decided to enact legislation that legally ensures that Mugabe will live forever, Mugabe will in fact live forever. Zimbabwenomics forever.

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