Things This Mini-Baller is Thankful For

by Kaiser Edamame
  1. My fellow mini-ballers who taught me that mini-balling isn’t about how much money you make, it’s about your ability to spend way more than that for no good reason
  2. The hot girls who work at the guess store and laugh at my jokes when I buy $300 jeans
  3. The S&P for constantly underperforming my portfolio
  4. Mutual funds for constantly underperforming the S&P
  5. The potential energy of my bonus
  6. My ability to learn new skills: I learned how to juggle in 10 minutes this morning using crumpled up $100 bills
  7. My new RED Amex and its versatility: B&T girls think it’s like a black card and non-profit chicks think it stops AIDS in Africa (which happens to be a great way to push for unprotected sex: “don’t worry about that baby, my RED card eliminated AIDS.”). Also there’s no annual fee
  8. My family who isn’t impressed by my income, my credit card debt, or by my profitable, dividend paying, financial humor blog

Please share things you’re thankful for in the comments.

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