Zimbabwenomics Pioneers Even Freer Trade

by Johnny Debacle

Zimbabwe continues to get it. When facing simple, but large, macro problems, the country shines like no other. The biggest problem with with supply and demand is that sometimes the demand cannot afford the supply. Zimbabwenomical solution? Enact policies consistent with Mugabe Efficiency Theory which lower the price of supply to make it affordable. The country is faced with rampant poverty and lack of wealth. Zimbabwenomical solution? Mugabe has taken it upon himself to make the entire country full of millionaires, an unprecedented accomplishment, not only in Africa but in the whole world. From a CNN article on the Zimbabwean dollar

Money traders in [the] African country say the Zimbabwe currency has [surged] to a record [of] 25 million for a single U.S. dollar.

It’s a race between the US and Zimbabwe, one the latter is clearly, and as a US citizen disappointingly, winning.

Later in the same piece we spotted evidence of another advance in the field of Zimbabwenomics:

[The] regional breadbasket [imports] canned and processed foods, household goods, soap, toothpaste, toiletries and other items [from] neighbors Malawi, South Africa and Zambia and from as far afield as Egypt, Germany, Iran and Malaysia.

Zimbabwe is not only reaping the benefits of trade by engaging in a diverse set of trading partners, but it’s taken a figment of its own imagination, and profited from it, by trading with a fictional country in Malawi. Zimbabwe’s move is particularly bold in that Malawi doesn’t even sound like a real country, more like someone with an oversized tongue trying to say “mara, way!”. The key benefit to trading with a fictional country is that you control the terms and have all the leverage because, in order to continue to exist, they are dependent on you believing that they exist. This is why the US is able to extract such generous terms in its trade with Canada.

Recommendation: Zimbabwe is on the very cutting edge of progressive thinking; we would buy the whole country if we could. Actually, according to our trader, apparently we now can. Amazing.

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  1. March 6th, 2008 | 10:17 am

    Am a Malawian who does not take kindly your unjustified satirical words against my country Malawi. You mean Malawi does not exist? WTF! Your hate towards Mugabe should not make everyone hate Zimbabwe. Its better you just shut up with your idiotic imperialist agenda! Let Mugabe keep his Zimbabwe and you keep your BALLS!

  2. March 6th, 2008 | 10:22 am

    You win the “Craziest Comment By A Person From A Fictional Country” award. Congratulations, it’s extremely prestigious!

  3. March 6th, 2008 | 11:56 am

    What I find most disturbing about this is that, apparently, the CIA is in cahoots with Mugabe, going as far as creating a fictional World Factbook entry on Malawi. Scary!


    Monkey Bay??? Are they not even *trying* to convince us?

  4. March 6th, 2008 | 12:47 pm

    Agreed. I haven’t trusted those CIA bastards since they took down Arbenz.

  5. March 6th, 2008 | 1:32 pm

    Its your bigheadedness and pomposity of SOME of you Americans that keeps on alienating you from the rest of the world. You feel that you are too big and everyone else is nothing. That is why you are stuck in Iraq and Afghanistan!!! And no wonder the Arab world doesnt give a shit about you! You better go to hell and rot with your colonialist and racist forefathers who plundered Africa! Leave us alone in Africa pliz.

  6. To The Hilt
    March 6th, 2008 | 1:45 pm

    listen here, brew, if the arabs didn’t giv a shit about us, they wouldn’t be trying to kill us.

    Why don’t you just calm down, and go back to telling yourself that, as part of “the rest of the world” (as if you even really existed), matter in the least?

    JD, that Canada line was classic.

  7. March 6th, 2008 | 2:08 pm

    Yea, according to you if we matter less then what the fuss in writing about us on your websites/blogs? Yes we may matter less BUT please leave us alone!!! I might correctly guess that you are one of those idiots who were chased from our fertile land in Zimbabwe. And now you are sabotaging the economy of Zimbabwe. But you are failing to bring it down. Leave Zim alone pliz! Viva Comrade Mugabe! Leave Africa alone pliz and neither do Africans give a damn shit about YOU!

  8. To The Hilt
    March 6th, 2008 | 2:11 pm

    What? I can’t hear you. Oh…right, you’re not real.

    When are you going to realize that you don’t exist, Mr. Easter Bunny?

  9. self
    March 6th, 2008 | 2:26 pm
  10. HF
    March 6th, 2008 | 2:27 pm

    I belive the main point of this post is to highlight history being made and not to diminuish the African continent, one (I belive)with lots of potential.
    The fact is, Mr Mugabe is playing with tools he clearly dosen’t know how to work with. Is dangerous and highly unethical to play with your citizen’s lives, and thats what he as been doing.He should stop playing silly games and leave economical decisions for people how really understand them.

  11. PBateman
    March 6th, 2008 | 4:29 pm

    You can’t accuse To The Hilt of disparaging Africa…. He voted for obama in the primary.

  12. Size
    March 6th, 2008 | 4:42 pm

    “Its your bigheadedness and pomposity of SOME of you Americans that keeps on alienating you from the rest of the world. ”

    Well, yes. We’re a country of immigrants who left the rest of the world because we thought it was crappy. Being alienated from the rest of the world is kinda the goal.

    Incidentally, pretend boy, how much American food aid did your family eat today?

  13. Aspiring Mini-Baller
    March 6th, 2008 | 6:00 pm

    So how is Malawi a fake country? I missed out on that one. The 1st crazy commenter does win the prize for most unintentionally hilarious comment I’ve read this week.

  14. March 6th, 2008 | 9:34 pm

    Good news/bad news: you have readers all over the world, and half of them have no idea what you’re talking about.

  15. Mr B
    March 7th, 2008 | 6:48 am
  16. tia
    March 7th, 2008 | 9:34 am

    is it me or didn’t madonna just steal/borrow a malawian boy last year…i guess there is still some value left in the country…i m goin long pseudo orphan malawi children

  17. Matt
    March 7th, 2008 | 10:03 am

    JD, the Canada remark was lough out loud stuff.

    FYI Marc Faber thinks Ben Bernanke should run the central bank in Zimbabwe:


  18. Anal_yst
    March 7th, 2008 | 1:38 pm

    1. Just because it is on teh internets doesn’t mean its real.

    2. Coincidently the CIA World Factbook entry for Malawai was updated on the same day of this post, leaving me to believe that the CIA is in cahoots with this Kankuzi fella.

    3. Long wikipedia, as apparently the CIA factbook gets their data feeds from there.

  19. To The Hilt
    March 7th, 2008 | 2:39 pm

    Re: Bateman: as far as any of you know, anyway.

  20. born to lose
    March 7th, 2008 | 5:10 pm

    Dear Bennett Kankuzi,

    Did you recieve the check I sent you to verify my bank account. I am patiently awaiting your wire transfer of $30 million. Sorry to hear about your wife, the “Princess of Malawi”. She sure did sound like a swell person in the email you sent.


  21. theGeneral
    March 9th, 2008 | 2:44 am

    Not to be anal, but actually to be considered “demand” in a purely economic sense, those comprising the demand must be both willing and able to purchase the supply. Therefore, if the demand cannot afford the supply, it is not demand.

  22. chachacha
    March 10th, 2008 | 2:54 am

    Malawi (and Canada) fake and fictional? That is very interesting. English is not my mother tongue may I be enlightened on that one (the meaning of a fictional country)? It might be a good idea as theGeneral has pointed out to keep ur mouth shut in ignorance than open ur mouth and reveal all doubt about any ion of stuff called wisdom/intelligence in u.

  23. March 10th, 2008 | 10:58 am

    “Not to be anal, but actually to be considered “demand” in a purely economic sense, those comprising the demand must be both willing and able to purchase the supply. Therefore, if the demand cannot afford the supply, it is not demand.”

    That was far beyond “anal”. And also well into “erroneous”. Obviously your attempted tautology fails when you consider that demand here is looked at from a zimbabwenomical perspective and if you were more familiar with the concepts of zimbabwenomics, you’d see that it accounts for the very issue you raised. I recommend reading Mugabe Efficiency Theory and generally boning up your progressive economics.

  24. amtann
    March 10th, 2008 | 11:28 am

    I think more attention needs to be drawn to the fact that while it takes a hefty 40 USD to become a Zimbabwean Billionaire, it only takes 26.15 in Euro.

    — CTAs, it’s never too late to start selling dollars (either US or ZWD).

  25. Peter
    March 10th, 2008 | 2:58 pm

    @ amtann

    You’ve got an old EURUSD quote – this week EURUSD was always > 1.53
    Now 40 USD = 26.0552 EUR

    The trend is your friend (or enemy) – sell USD – long EUR

  26. amtann
    March 11th, 2008 | 7:11 am


    Normally I wouldn’t quibble over 10 cents, but we ARE talking about 2,500,000.00 ZWD. That’s not a small number (evidenced by the zeroes and commas). I was using 1.53 in my conversion, and divided 40 by that number, resulting in 26.1437; which I rounded to 26.15 because I didn’t want to seem like an anal retard – however, using your number of 26.05 results in 39.8565 USD. So you have short-changed yourself nearly 3,500,000.00 ZWD by using the Yahoo! currency converter instead of your calculator.

    – Next week the CHF hits par for the first time since the coinage act of 1792. Now say this to yourself in a deep, reassuring voice (try to mimic Paulson; but don’t laugh!): We believe in a strong dollar.

  27. HF
    March 14th, 2008 | 6:34 pm

    This gets to the point…


    Sorry Bennett Kankuzi but this guy can’t be left alone…