Gerald Ford: I am longer him in death than in life

by Johnny Debacle

The market says that a position in Gerald Ford is crazy.

It says, “Gerald Ford is just a filler president with no historical appreciation upside. His most memorable acts are pardoning Richard Nixon and being mocked as an incompetent klutz on Saturday Night Live by Chevy Chase.”

I say to the market, “Market, you are crazy. Any man who can get me a bonus vacation day is someone I want to be long. Washington, Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Christopher Columbus, the signers of the Declaration of Independence, the Pilgrims, Valentine, Jesus, laborers and all our soldiers, I am long you all. And I am long Gerald Ford too. And I think he deserves some credit for Presidential seppuku in pardoning Nixon, not to preserve his own honor and not to preserve Nixon’s, but to preserve and protect the institution of the Presidency itself. He took one for us all. Gerald Ford, I am long you.”

Recommendation: Get prepared to be long Jimmy Carter soon.

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