Hexapus; Inflation in the Underwater Tranches

by Johnny Debacle

I would like to introduce my manservant HexapusAccording to the un-Fed, inflation is rampant in the US, where the cost to fill the average tank of gas is close to the price of taking a family of four hundred to see Hannah Montana 3-D. It is becoming clear that this inflation is not contained within the US, western hemisphere or even the land-based area of Earth. It has spread to the waters that lap up to our financially underwater beach properties — the underwater world. This CNN story outlines how inflation in octopus leg costs has literally crippled an octopus, making him into a hexapus.

British marine experts have found what they claim is a world first — a six-legged octopus, or “hexapus,” whom they have christened Henry

Octopuses are renowned for having three hearts and blue blood, but not usually six legs.

While this is only anecdotal evidence it is startling; Henry isn’t even a lower class octopus who would always be scrimping and saving to fund his legs and would be the first to feel the impacts of inflation. Henry is actually a blue-blood british octopus, who should have no problems sourcing legs in any part of the cycle, absent some sort of hyper-inflation. We can only speculate that Joe Octopus is now Joe Pentapus or Joe Quadapus.

Recommendation: Octopuses are a large component of the cephalopod index, but a less crucial part of the squid world domination investment thesis that we have outlined in the past. There are no measurable signs that the squid economy is being impacted by inflationary headwinds, but we have been and will monitor the deep sea situation with our ROV Longus or Submersibilius which has been launched from Juggles’ mega-yacht currently moored in the Indian Ocean. We continue to be long the greater cephalopod index; a catalyst for revising our opinion would be evidence that the average squid is no longer able to afford a razor sharp beak.

HT to reader Lumpen

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  1. Sir Charge
    March 5th, 2008 | 10:40 am

    This is clearly the result of dollar denominated octopus legs. The octopus world should sever its ties to dollar-valued arms and peg it to something more reasonable such as a basket of clams.

  2. To The Hilt
    March 5th, 2008 | 2:57 pm

    If octopus legs were priced in dollars, then Henry could buy plenty of legs. The chief source of income for an octopus is scouring the ocean floor for shipwrecked treasure, ie gold. Have you seen the price of gold lately?

  3. Sir Charge
    March 5th, 2008 | 3:20 pm

    True but the ocean’s markets have been having liquidity issues.

  4. mutual fun
    March 12th, 2008 | 9:31 am

    I believe to be linguisticlly consistent a 4-legged creature would be called a tessapus. Which brings us somewhere back to your favorite topic, strippers.