Long Chilean Cocaine Producers

by User Submitted

Submitted by user The Paleofish

Conventional wisdom has held that the transportation of narcotics requires a suitcase for the purposes of concealment and convenience of carriage. Today we learn that Chilean innovators have thrown convention out the window and created suitcases made entirely of cocaine. Moviegoers and cocaine enthusiasts know that this was basically the plot of Traffic (spoiler alert!).

The benefits of this innovation will trickle down to all of us in myriad ways. Cocaine prices should drop as cocaine trafficking efficiency increases. Instead of carrying merely the cocaine they could fit into a suitcase, they carry that much PLUS the suitcase itself all in one trip! And for vacationing miniballers who agonize over the decision of “clothes or cocaine” when packing for their destination of chioce, they can just bring both in their cocaine case with the addeded benefit of being safe from Johnny law.

I know I’ll sleep easier tonight. What’s next, making people out of cocaine?

Recommendation: Long Chilean cocaine producers; short Bolivia and Bolivian pride; long chile (because it’s delicious).

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