Madlibs for The Market of February 27th, 2007

by Mr Juggles

NEW YORK — The stock of [Company Name] is down [Number greater than 4]% in trading today. The movement is reportedly due to a Chinese market meltdown on concerns that government regulators would [increase taxes / curb investment / invade Taiwan / destroy the Earth’s environment] and fears of [a recession / inflation / deflation / a war with Iran / an emerging market bubble / that purple bastard Grimace]. Also contributing to the market decline today were [former Fed wizard / the man responsible for this mess / old Jewish man] Alan Greenspan’s recent comments that the economy is [ headed for a recession/ doing OK right now / irrationally stable].

While no one is sure what the recently released report on [Economic Indicator] really means, since the statistics are vague and have almost no conclusive predictive power anyway, stock brokers across the world should live in fear of being thrown out of the windows of tall buildings.

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