Peak 2007?

by Mr Juggles

Time and time again, people say we are running out of 2007. These cries began as early as January; by July, some were even claiming that there was less 2007 remaining than the amount of 2007 which we have already consumed. They call this condition “Peak 2007”.

Time and time again, people say we are running out of something, but science always shows that all these chicken little cries are for naught, as profit incentive combine with human ingenuity to preempt any shortage or problem. We didn’t run out of food as feared in the 60’s and 70’s since technologies to improve crop yields were disseminated to the third world. At the turn of the 20th century experts forecast a dire shortage of coal. And 2007, we are not going to run out of you.

Three reasons to think we won’t run out of 2007:

Technological Innovation: As the supply of 2007 dwindles, its price rises. Entrepreneurs, seeing the opportunity for wild profits, begin researching ways to manufacture new 2007, synthetically replicate 2007, or increase the efficiency of 2007 use by a multiple factor. These entrepreneurs are greedy, hungry for mega yachts, and one of them is bound to succeed.

Cap & Trade program: It’s likely that the UN Council on Annus 2007 will institute a cap & trade program to protect the remaining 2007. Under this scheme, rich nations like the US will be able to continue living in 2007 while paying other, poorer nations to live in less desirable years. Guatemala, for instance, has been living in 1916 for 91 straight years.

Conservation: As 2007 is supposedly running out, we find that people are finding ways to more efficiently use the 2007 they have and improving the amount of 2007 used per a unit of living. People will find that it only takes 1 unit of 2007 to get drunk rather than the previous notion that it took 2-3 units of 2007 to get drunk.

Recommendation: Long 2007, don’t stop believing in 2007.

Share This, Please